Sunday, January 6, 2013

To move or not to Move? That is the question....

I have always dreamed of living on Prince Edward Island.  Whenever I visit there I feel like I have come home.  Their way of life is very different from where I am from.  Less speed.  Islanders seem to know their is more to life then rush, rush, rush.  My husband and I, who are going through some marriage issues at the moment, found a house to purchase on the Island.  51 acres of lovely land and a cute double wide prefab home.  Hey don't knock that until you have seen it.  It is a lovely place.  The land is just perfect, the house new and lovely and it has a stream running through the place.  The best part is that is it only 250 metres from the ocean.  We have spoken to the agent, worked a great price for this perfect home and now we have to figure out if we really want to take it. My husband is jumping at the chance because this is his dream property and he doesn't care where it is.  He is not close with his family at all.  I, on the other hand, am.  I consider my parents to be my dear friends, not just my parents.  Now, mind you, I only see them about once a month and sometimes not even that.  My father is very close to my children so that is very hard to think about taking them away from them.

My family is road block number one on my quest for the dream.  Road block number two is my daughter.  My daughter is special.  She has several medical conditions and learning issues and she is in several programs in her present school to help her.  Since coming to this school a year and a half ago they have helped her so much.  She started her current school in grade two and could not read a word.  Her old school was terrible and her grade one teacher was a horror.  Instead of trying to help my daughter she just looked the other way.  We moved to get away from that school and that teacher.  We also moved to get away from the waiting list her old school had.  We were going to have to wait a year before they even evaluated her.  When my daughter started her current school, her grade two teacher helped her in ways that I will forever be grateful for.  By the end of grade two my daughter had gone up five levels of reading.  There was also no waiting lists.  She got the help she needed right away.  They had a program in place for her in a month.  Now her current teacher reads with her daily and is able to help her so much.  My daughter is doing so well.  My greatest fear is that by moving to the Island all the progress that she has made will decline because she will have to go through all of the new schools testing again.  I don't want that to happen to her.  In this case I will contact the school that would be her school and see what would happen in her case.  

The next road block is my son, but not as much as my daughter.  He does not want to leave his friends and I do not blame him.  However, he is a very nice, friendly, outgoing boy who makes friends easy.  I think it is easier for boys in this way than girls.  He would be going into either grade seven or eight, depending on when I decide to go.  Those grades a bit harder I think.  I just don't know.

The last, and to me, major road block is my relationship with my husband.  We are actually currently separated but working on things.  There are some issues that really need to be worked out before I move across the country.  Part of me is saying, this is your dream, don't worry about it.  Then the more practical side of me says, are you crazy, don't root up your whole life for this.  What if things don't work out?  I have just moved into my own apartment without my husband.  He does spend a great deal of time here but this is my own place.  If I move to Prince Edward Island with my husband and things don't work out between us what am I going to do??  Yes I know, I could just move into another apartment in Charlottetown.  Do I really want to do that to myself and my children?  I do have a year to decided as I just moved in here and I have a one year lease.  I, also, would not want to move the kids mid school year so I would wait until next June.  My husband is going in two months time.  He takes the place over in April.  Everything will be in his name so I will not have to worry about that end of it.  Right now the plan is for me to join him in the summer for two months and then come back to wait out my lease and the school year.  Maybe that is the best idea.  Then I can see in the summer how I like living out there.  Maybe by then my husband will be more willing to work through a few things he just can not seem to get past.  Maybe I will see if I can live without him....

So here I am trying to figure out what to do.  My family is important to me yes, however, my parents will not live forever.  Cruel to say, yes, but should a person live their life to please their parents.  When is it time to break out on your own and live your life the way you want to, not the way others want you too??!!  I am going to have to seriously think this one through and decided what to do.

What would you do?

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you have a ton of weight on your mind! I have been to PEI, and completely relate to the home feeling! However, you have a lot going on. You will need to find out about the school system programs first, which you should be able to do through the Internet and contacting the schools in the area where you want to move. Check out community programs and support too. Doing some research and knowing what is available to you before moving is critical! Do your kids have an opinion on this move? Internet can keep kids connected to their school friends, so moving could be a great family adventure! Although the kids may not have the final decision, they be allowed to have some input since it will affect their lives too! Leaving your family support will be hard, but again you can keep the lines of communication open through phone, Internet, and visits. Even though there is physical distance between you, it doesn't have to feel like it! Last, you do have some time to sort through these issues. I feel that your husband is running away, but issues will only follow, and magnify. Keep the communication open, be honest with your feelings, have no fear! You will be fine regardless the outcome! You will do right by your family, and yourself, have faith in your decisions and abilities. Don't turn away from your support network of family and friends. It would be wonderful to live in paradise, but you won't be happy if you aren't at peace with all the decisions that you made to get there, and if your kids aren't succeeding in their lives! Good luck, and God bless you!